Upstairs - but no Downstairs...

Original: (Friday, March 25, 2005)

Back in the 1970's, when the rest of us were watching "Upstairs, Downstairs"...

it appears that George W. Bush was only watching "Upstairs,"...

Now George is travelling the country, touting his "ownership society". After a few years of investing in high-class stocks and bonds, he says, we will all be part of the ownership society. We'll have a nest-egg to leave to our children, who will be even richer!
To date, none dare call it what it is - the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. When we sell off our nest-egg for money to buy our food, pay our rent, and, most of all, pay our medicare premiums(!), who is going to redeem our bonds, buy our stocks? Why, our children! How much will they pay for these things? The more you make from your "personal account", the more they will pay to buy from you. Except for the brokers who skim their take from all this activity, who is going to make anything from the whole transaction?

When all is said and done, wealth is still created by work. Work in the classic physical science sense of expenditure of energy over distance, and also in the economic sense of making (or growing, or raising, or providing) something that has value for another. In short - someone has to do the work!
Thus, if there is no ",Downstairs" to perform work for "Upstairs," there won't be any wealth for anyone...

Try telling that to George...
This is in line with the misperception that I see voiced (see ... voiced...? Oh, well...) by some in the news. You know, when they insist that "our schools should teach everyone computer science." Donno about you, but I don't want a computer scientist to repair my car. Or my roof. Or grow my food. And I am a computer scientist!

We all need an Eskimo sometimes

Original: (Friday, June 03, 2005)

Back in '96 (that's 1996, not 18.. or 17.. or..) I was having a tough time. I was working as a fisherman that year, not exactly getting rich. I'd headed offshore to go for Albacore, on my nice new (1960 vintage) boat, Seabreeze

Somewhere (well, I can look up the exact co-ordinates; I wasn't 'lost at sea', really) about 800 miles west of Eureka I caught an old floating hawser in my prop, blew out my engine. Not much I could do out there, except spend a lot of time checking my bilge pumps, putting out distress calls, the usual thing for anyone floating around the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
After what seemed forever, but was actually just four days, I caught a lucky bounce off the ionosphere, and got hold of US Coast Guard Station Brookings. It took a few more days, but a Coast Guard ship finally got to me, about the time the weather was getting really iffy. They took me in tow, and in a few more days I wound up tied to an abandoned fishbuyers dock in Eureka California. Having had little-to-no sleep for weeks, I pretty much collapsed. Spent about 15 hours dead out.
But time has a way of moving along no matter my state of consciousness, so next morning I had no choice but to wake up and try to get things set to rights.
I was standing in the wheelhouse, surveying the chaos, when a cheerful little woman with sensible walking shoes and a slouch hat, looking perhaps a little like Miss Marple, came striding by along the beatup old dock. She waved and gave me a cheerful "Good Morning!". I growled at her. She said "What a beautiful boat you have!" (she had a remarked tendency to speak in exclamation points). I said it was a piece of junk (well, something a bit stronger than 'junk') with a blown engine, unusable, a disaster, etc. She persisted in engaging me in cheerful chatter until, finally, in exasperation at her impenetrable cheeriness, I said: Look, I wouldn't even have a way to get around, except a friend is letting me use his truck.
She said, without even a pause "Oh, you have a friend!"
I must have blinked, or blacked out, or something, because when I looked next, she had disappeared. I wanted to say thank you, or something, but, having delivered her message, she could then depart. That was my eskimo, back in July of 1996.

Everybody's Getting Fat Except...

Original: (Sunday, March 05, 2006)

Obesity seems to have become *ahem* a large item in the news;

How We Get Fat

yet again. It has become a wonderfully complex, hence controversial, topic. People debate both the cause and the cure. While many insist that weight gain is caused by excess caloric intake, many more interesting theories abound. Some say it's MacDonald's, some say television. Some say it's school cafeterias, some say it's advertising.
Just as the cause is debated, so too is the cure. A cartoon character was informed by her (cartoon) physicain that she should lose some poundage; he recommended "moderate diet and exercise." The cartoon lady responded with "don't you think that's a bit extreme?" For those who agree with Blanche, there is a plethora (really, don't you think that should be "are a plethora"?) of obesity cures, most of them reconizeable by claims that weight will "melt away effortlessly". Such is human frailty that we buy into such claims no matter how unlikely we believe the claim to be. So, from Fat Dissolving Soap to Vibrating Belts (which at least sound sort of fun, in a kinky way), we rush from this brand of snake oil to the next, filled with hope, again and again. Surely, one of these magical cures must work!
Now, out of years of personal experience, I announce to you Franks Own Fat-Loss Method!
My new method comes from my observation that:
When I drive a car - I weigh about 215 lbs.
When I walk - I weigh about 175 lbs.
In other words, my CAR is responsible for about 40 lbs of (mostly) fat, or a difference in body mass of over 22%!
Ever the diligent researcher, I looked here

National Transportation Statistics

and discovered that in the United States today there are someting over 260,000,000 cars. As an aside, yes, just as in those old predictions, there are now more cars than there are drivers for the cars.
Now let's look at the math:
260 million cars @ 40 lb/car. That's 10.4 billion lbs of excess avoirdupois, just in the USA!
Continuing, fat is 9 Cal./gram, there are 455 g/lb; so, 9 x 455 x 10,400,000,000 = ummm, lessee...
42,588,000,000,000 (~42.5 Trillion) Calories adhering to the American waistline!
The energy shortage is now over - all that remains is to "tap in" to this National Fat Reserve (NFR); enough reserve energy to see the nation through its next "driving season" (doesn't that phrase seem really tragically odd to you?)
Now, my own experience suggests this energy can best be recovered by people walking from place to place; but that might be a bit extreme.
Seeking the solution in technology; perhaps a National Liposuction Program, with the results transformed into bio-diesel, is a more palatable proposal.
Seeking the solution in the new national paradigm (I truly hate that word!) of victimhood, which is today always the most likely way of responding - I think we will just continue to blame anybody-but-me and keep patronizing the snake-oil-salesman-of-the-moment, seeking the zipless weight-loss, with six-pack abs thrown in for the more unrealistic of us (among whom I count myself, sometimes anyway).
And continue to add to the NFR.
Meantime, my feet hurt.

Which One Is In Denial?

Original: (Monday, September 26, 2005)

Denial is one of the stranger human traits, but it is one I believe we all share, at least from time to time. Sometimes, Like with Scarlet, it's better just to "think about it tomorrow". However, sometimes denial becomes a usual part of one's thinking. This can be bad.
Here's a test for you: Which one of these is an example of denial at work?

a.)



A smoker (like former Marlboro Man Wayne McLaren, shown here) who says "I can quit anytime I want."

b.)


A gambler (like former star quarterback Art Schlichter, shown here) who says "I'll quit just as soon as I make one more big score."

c.)


A President (like ... George W. Bush, shown here) who says "... we see a situation in Iraq in which the Iraqi people at every opportunity have chosen to pull together in the political process," (quote from State Department spokesman Sean McCormack).


... Give up?

The answer is: All Of The Above!
Now, you might be thinking my main idea here is to point out the incredibly destructive kind of thinking denial can bring about. You are correct. The destructiveness is of course much greater if the person happens to be the Most Powerful Man In The World (and determined to prove it). It's not like people didn't try to tell George W. Bush about Iraq. Millions of people marched against his war. I tried to tell him here ( Don't Gaff That Shark!). To no avail. I really just wrote that post as a sort of memory-lane piece anyway. I understand that the President pays no attention to any information that doesn't conform to his own personal (that is to say, wierd) worldview. Heck, he doesn't even pay attention to his own father, who understood back when he invaded Iraq that the only options there were a secular brutal thug dictatorship (Saddam Hussein) or a group of ungovernable brutal thug theocracies (what we are about to see now). He (G.H.W. Bush) opted for a Hussein-without-fangs, as the best of a bad situation. Ahh; it's enough to make one yearn for the Good Old Days. If Only We Had Known!

Energy - Part II

Original: (Thursday, August 16, 2007)

Part two of N; Part one is here: ENERGY - PART I. Only today, instead of talking about electrons, we'll be talking about hydrocarbons. Now, hydrocarbons are an important part of the World Of Chemistry. In fact, hydrocarbons are the basis of an entire field of Chemistry know as... Organic Chemistry. Organic Chem, as well as being about hydrocarbons, and hydrocarbon-based compounds, is also the primary reason why a lot of Chemistry students switch to English Lit. Chaucer is easier than the Paraffin Series, which is the easy part of Organic. It's all downhill from there.

Fortunately, aside from the word hydrocarbon, we really don't need to know much more about this stuff. As an aside, it's interesting to note that hydrocarbon compounds actually 'own' many electrons! If we could tease them into giving them up, we'd be able to fill our tanks (well, I mean, the gas tanks in our cars - not the Abrams Tanks in the many war zones we have scattered about the Middle East), and then drive happily about using an electric motor! Sadly, it's not in the nature of the Chemical Bond to give us those electrons without a lot of effort! We have Linus Pauling's word for that, and, knowing that he has not one, but two, Nobel Prizes, you can believe he's smarter than we are! He's also deceased, so the whole idea of megadoses of vitamin C might not be as great as he believed.

But that's another story, as they say.

Now, at this juncture in history, when some of the more-or-less prominent politicians are campaigning for President (these campaigns are so unrelenting, it may well be that the next president has already been elected, and we're getting ready to nominate the candidates for 2012), everybody is talking a lot about how they are about to develop a PLAN! A plan that is, to a.) Save The Planet From Global Warmng or b.) Save The American Driver From Big Oil. Some of the more ambitious politicians are, I believe, trying to work both of those Big Ideas into their ahem, Plan.

Sorry, as my motto says; Good Idea, Too Bad It's Wrong!

The basis for all these wonderful plans is to swap out petroleum as the source for the hydrocarbons going into your (fuel) tank, and to use hydrocarbons from another source. A partial list of these sources: Corn; Sawgrass; Sugarcane; Oil Palms; Used Cooking Oil (from MacD et al.); Methane From Garbage; Methane From Cows (yes, cowfarts!); and that old standby, King Coal. Now, this can all be done. In fact, third world farmers have been using animal byproduct (ahem) as fuel for many centuries. Heck, the West was settled by wagon trains that cooked their way across the plains using Buffalo Chips. That was, of course, before they killed and ate all of the Buffalo.

Problem with all this is, nobody seems to want to consider the scale!

Let us consider the scale: About 500, 000, 000 (1/2 billion!) cars. Maybe more. Heck, there's 260 million cars in the USA alone (see below; Everybody's Getting...). The owners of these cars all want to fill their tanks (the fuel tanks, that is) with hydrocarbons. Aside from some not-entirely-unreasonable fear of engine damage, the car owners really don't give a big rat's ass where the damn hydrocarbons come from. However, the total volume, or weight, of all this fuel is staggering to contemplate! Billions And Billions of Litres! (Borrowing here from famous TV astro-evangelist Carl Sagan). All this stuff gets burned, no matter where it comes from. The burning produces CO2, H2O, CO, Oxides of Nitrogen, Ozone, partially combusted hydrocarbons, and small particulates (soot, actually). The operation also produces Heat, Light, Motion, Dented Fenders, and the occasional Dead Pedestrian.

The problem, actually, is that, given their druthers, most people seem to want to travel about accompanied by something like two tons of assorted metal, plastic, glass, rubber, and a smidgen of other stuff. A car is, emotionally speaking, a sort of cross between a Big, Powerful Destrier (Magnificent Huge Masculine Warlike Stallion, that is), and a Security Blanket (Warm, Soft, Feminine, Peaceful, Comforting, that is). It's quite often not the best way to travel from point A to point B; but What If I Need To Run An Errand? It's also not the healthiest way to travel (See: Everybody's Getting Fat Except...); but What If I Need To Pick Up The Kids? So, what's to be done?

I Don't Know!

Voodoo Economix

Original: (Monday, March 23, 2009)

200 Billion Dollar deficits as far as the eye can see... (R. Limbaugh, 1993)

The Large Surplus will harm the economy... (G. W. Bush, 2001)

Deficits Don't Matter...(D. Cheney, 2003)

The Deficit is unconscionable... (J. Gregg, 2009)

From these and other similar quotes, of which we certainly have No Shortfall we can derive certain basic Rules of Economics
A. Deficits Don't Matter (if the President is a Republican) -
B. Deficits Do Matter (if the President is a Democrat) -
C. A Budget Surplus is bad (if the President is a Democrat) -
D. A Budget Surplus is out of the question (if the President is a Republican) -

Remember those polls from last January that said "People are willing to give the new President a long time to fix the economy."
Long Time appears to be just slightly less than two months.

Don't Gaff That Shark!

Original: (Sunday, May 30, 2004)

Some years ago, I worked as a deckhand on a sportfishing boat out of Los Angeles. One summer morning we were fishing out at Rocky Point (South of Redondo Beach), and we had a pretty good bite going. A good mix of fish, including Calico Bass, Bonito, Barracuda, with a few Yellowtail mixed in.
Unfortunately, we also had a pair of Blue Sharks cruising off the stern.

They were eating pretty much every fish the passengers hooked. They were going for the bait, too, and cutting off the fishermen’s lines. One of the Blues was going back and forth so close off the stern, I decided to do something about it. So I grabbed the long gaff and went to the back of the boat. Terry, the skipper, shouted “Don’t stick him!”. I said “He’s just a little fish, no problem.”
Well, Blue Sharks are kind of long and skinny (like I was in those days), so their appearance can be deceptive. I gaffed that Blue just behind the dorsal fin, and pulled about six feet of shark out of the water. There was still more fish in the water than there was out of it. That Blue wrapped its skinny little tail section around the gaff, started thrashing about, and broke it off. The shark swam away, looking unhappy, with the hook in its back. Because I didn’t listen to the skipper, I wound up having to replace that gaff out of my own pocket.
I learned a lesson from that, eventually. I tried to pass that lesson on to President Bush a while ago. I tried to tell him not to stick that gaff into Iraq. He didn’t listen to me. He didn’t listen to a lot of people. Now, well, it looks to me as if Iraq has broken off the gaff, and is swimming away with the hook in its back.
Seems to me, the President owes the people a new gaff, paid for out of his own pocket. And he should take care when and where he uses it in the future.